The Sordid Tale of a Splitter-Upper

broken-heartSo let’s say that you’re a father who hates your daughter’s new boyfriend. You could sit down and talk to your daughter, I suppose – but that might be awkward. Luckily, help is just a phone call away – just get in touch with one of the many “wakaresaseya,” or professional splitter-uppers, in Japan. They’ll send out a charming actor to break up that nasty relationship by seducing your sweet daughter away from that horrible boyfriend. In fact, if you’ve got any sort of relationship in need of a good heartbreak…who ya gonna call? Wakaresaseya!

The somewhat shocking explosion of these shady private dick operations came to light as the result of a brutal murder. When Mr. Isohata decided it was time to divorce his wife, he called his local splitter-upper to inquire if they might dispatch a nice young man to seduce his spouse, thereby giving him solid grounds for divorce. The next thing you know, a suave gentleman calling himself Hajime is “running into” the lovely Mrs. Isohata in the local supermarket and striking up a friendly conversation over the cheesecake. Then, showing why he’s the best darn wakaresaseya in town, and being an officer and a gentleman to boot, he sweeps our heroine off her feet and carries her out the door of the supermarket.

But then, in a twist that any good Hollywood screenwriter would have been able to predict, the two scamps fell in love – real love, not pretend love. It was all hearts and flowers until Mrs. Isohata finally learned the sordid truth about her lover and confronted him with the facts, whereupon he strangled her to death.

A sad end to this love story, to be sure, but at least there is a moral to be learned: Never, ever talk to strangers in the supermarket!


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This entry was posted on March 23, 2013 by in Culture and Society and tagged .
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